I think my spiritual life is like up and down up and down up and down.

I can't stand it. Why can't it just be up all the way or down all the way. One day I talk about God all day long, the next day I don't even want to talk to Him.

I want to rebel. For once. Suddenly I see no point in restraining myself. I feel what I want to feel.

I'm such a bad girl now. I feel bad.

I feel as if I'm being sucked to the dark side. I have such terrible and weird thoughts up in my head. Thoughts that are so not of God.

But then again..what's the whole thing about God. I don't understand.

I'm so sorry that I'm turning bad. I really can't help it *cries myself to sleep*

And don't you worry about me..cos it isn't worth it to ask me to pray or anything. I don't even want to talk.

Just don't bother about me.